Lockhart's Tale
by Samsara Sage
Summary: By a Roll of the Cosmic Dice a Young man's future is torn away from him only to given a dead man's future in return.[Self-Insert]
1. Chapter 1

**If your wondering yes I read Hiver's Self Insert's on spacebattles and found them quite enjoyable so I guess that influenced my decision to write this story to try it out for myself.**

**"Speaking"**

**(Thinking)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters. I do not gain any from writing this. The property rights belong to J.K. Rowling.**

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**Chapter 1**

In the Harry Potter universe Gilderoy Lockhart Accidently overdosed on sleeping potions dying in his sleep. This was a anomaly, a mistake, and something that wasn't mean't to happen. The multiverse tried to repair itself but with Lockhart's soul already on the other side it needed a substitute it doesn't need to be the same only his presence is required. It searched infinity to find the replacement but many fit the bill so one was chosen at random hoping for the best outcome. Little does that one know that some forces are not to be messed with for fear of the consequences.

**(Boys bathroom\College Dorm)**

** (I can't believe I'm doing this)** Daniel thought as he stood in front of a mirror in a dark room lit by candles. Hello I'm Dan just a average joe going to college for bioengineering and I was planning on writing the entire afternoon on a fanfiction I am working on. It was about me in the Harry potter universe as a self insert I haven't chosen the character i want to be yet but it's a work in progress. As you know some plans do not survive first contact with the enemy when i sat down to begin this tale i was accosted by my room mates who wanted to have keg party but needed more than five people to get in so I was practically dragged out of my dorm to go with them. I do not drink that often only special occasions mainly for practiful reasons and i turn into odd ball when i'm drunk but who doesn't.

This is how I find myself in a darkened bathroom in front of a mirror because people wanted to play bloody mary because they are drunk as hell besides I don't really believe in all that nonsense about popping out of that mirror to kill that person though I will admit it is kind of frightning. Well no time like the present let's get this over with little does he know that he's about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

**"Okay let's do this"** Dan say to himself and looks into the dark mirror leaning on the counter.

**"Bloody Mary"** He starts slowly

**"Bloody Mary"**

**"Bloody Mary"** He finishes and looks around in the silent darkness.

When all of a sudden a bunch drunken idiots burst into the bathroom making a bunch loud noises and I shoot half a foot in the air in fear. Thier all fallen overthemselves laughing there lungs out after nearly giving me a heart attack.

**"Stop Laughing dammit it's not funny"** I said angry and they are laughing even harder.

All of a sudden with my back turned shadowy ghost like hands launch themselves out of the mirror dragging me in making me fly backwards into it disappearing shattering it into hundred's of pieces on the floor. They stopped laughing and stared in horror running as fast as humanly possible screaming in bloody murder. There was a police investigation to find out what happened to me to see if i was kidnaped but they never found any evidence so Daniel was never heard from again.

**(Void\Multiverse)**

I was flailing about getting dragged through the infinite darkness to a unknown destination by a unknown force. I feel my body disolving and a part of me is getting detached i can feel it. Pain! all I can feel is pain help! Help me anyone please god make it stop. When all said and done i surrender myself to oblivion where pain cannot touch me.

**(Harry Potter universe\Unknown)**

I woke up in a unknown place in a four poster bed with stone walls with a speed of a cheetah I shoot out of Bed feeling the lingering sensation of pain looking for a reflecting surface to find out what happened. Finding a private bathroom in the room a few minutes later I looked into the mirror and froze. There staring at me from the mirror was Gilderoy Lockhart, looking into the reflection I hold my head in my hands groaning as a sudden rush of information that didn't belong to me entered my head causing me to faint and slump to the ground.

The last thought running through my head was why couldn't I have been harry potter the hero of the story instead of a fraud.

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**"And so it Begins" sorry I always wanted to say that. So what do you think?**

**The Reason it's short is because I needed a platform somewhere to start from then it will get more longer and complex as I go on.**


	2. Chapter 2

**"This Chapter's a little longer than my usual work but I am trying to improve so please review and give your comments"**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Harry Potter.**

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**Chapter 2**

**(Harry Potter universe\Bathroom Unknown location)**

I Groaned and woke up on the bathroom floor starting to stand up to look myself in mirror hoping that it was a alcohol induced nightmare. Only to realize that yes it did happen just to make sure I pinched myself Ouch! okay this is definitely reality. I reach a hand to my temple to rub it because I'm starting to get a migraine.

**"What on earth was that anyway"** I said to myself when a memory flashes into my mind's eye of Gilderoy Lockhart in albus Dumbledore office conducting a interview for Defense against the Dark arts position incase Mr. quirrell A.K.A Voldermort's patsy decides to abandon the position. Apparently after so many professor's quit defense against the dark arts over the years Dumbledore developed a policy that a replacement professor must be in place five months before the end of the year. This was so he didn't have to find a replacement during the summer and because not a lot people would take the job. By the Looks he was giving Lockhart or is he me it's so confusing and by the way he said I'll consider you for the position tells me that he'll consider it as a last resort if no else come's forward. I don't blame anyone for not coming forward the record for killed or maimed teacher's in that position is extremely high.

So I have 5 months before the event's of the stone and 7 months before next year. First off! a review of my situation I had somehow managed to kill myself in my drunken effort's to tempt the supernatural and got transported to the harry potter universe in the body of a con man. The Question is what happened to the original Lockhart, from what I read in stories and Fanfics there are usually two minds that fight over the same body but I don't feel anything like that. I suppose it is quite possible that my soul overwrote his when I entered his body, the memories are still in his brain but his soul itself is long gone. How did I get here in first place, what deity did I offend to occur such wrath or maybe that mirror acted as a conduit to the Multiverse I hear author's talk about.

All I know is that I'm stuck in dangerous universe filled with old manipulative wizards, a corrupt government, and cheesy cloak wearing villains who wield supernatural powers. Then here I am stuck in a body of a con man of a wizard who steals memories and achievements of other's. There is one redeeming quality in Lockhart though his talent in memory charms, he modified existing spells and created new ones all for the purpose of stealing memories of others. He has a trunk full of memories stolen from others and a pensieve to view them in a closet at his pent house I'll have to review them later. Despite what some people might say a talent like that can go a long way in the world, knowledge is power after all unfortunately that power was in the hands of a lazy individual who was in it only for glory, money, and would have never used it in such a manner. Gilderoy had a great ability to charm others with his speech and good looks which make's sense other wise he probably wouldn't have sold as many books.

**"Oh my head this is one bad head ache I need to organize my thoughts" **I said to myself as I walk out of the Bathroom to the bedroom to sit down and meditate.

This meditation routine actually started out when I was kid because I had a overactive mind not just my imagination like normal kids to a point where couldn't shut my mind down I had to wait until my body couldn't stay awake any more to the point of sleep deprivation. That eventually caused problems to the point they sent me to basic meditation classes. It's actually fairly simple once you grasp the concept close your eye's, control your breathing, find your center, and simply think of nothing. Once those lessons were over I built upon them from books at the library and tip's online. I constructed my Inner world as a spider web less important memories in the lower ends and my most important one's near my center all categorized from knowledge, experience, and memories.

**(What a mess)**I thought to myself as saw the cluster's of Lockhart's disorganized thought's scattered everywhere so I sorted through them placing his knowledge of memory charms, how to charm others, and story telling near the center. The rest goes to lower center except for the knowledge of him being a fraud wouldn't want that lying around. His school knowledge from Hogwarts is spotty at best because he only did enough to pass and much of it fuzzy so I'm going to have to use a memory reinforcement charm, it works the same as a memory potion except because memory charms are part of the mind arts it's more difficult to use. Outside of that he only has handful magic tricks he picked up including that deboning spell which is actually a failed medical spell. It looks like something from final fantasy with Spheres that contain Skills, Memories, and experiences.

I came out of my trance and surveyed the room I was in more detail to be honest it looks like a room from a castle and...is that a suit of armor?. A coat of arms comes in that depicts Hogwarts with it's house's along with another flashback of feeling a little under the weather and being offered to stay the night.

**"Huh? I'm actually inside Hogwarts but I feel nothing? most people would kill be in my position and I have to ruin by not caring at all...What a strange world we live in" **I said to myself.

I have a prime opportunity here to capture peter Pettigrew to free Sirius and expose voldemort but in doing so I would miss my window of opportunity to replace the Real Philosopher's stone with a fake one. Then again I may be targeted and killed if I moved against him now, it's better If I wait till after he's dealt to move against him. I need to gain strength first and I'm going to use this time to do it.

**"well time get to ready" **I said getting up searching for his luggage bag for appropriate clothing to wear for breakfast this morning then leaving for his pent house. He pulled out crème colored robes with twitching eyebrows.

**(Now I remember one of the things I truly despised about the harry potter series, the Cheesy robes that are so old fashioned that they should not be worn in public.)** I thought to myself don't want be overheard by a portrait the wall has ears you know. Well I know exactly what I'm going to do when I get back to the pent house go to the muggle world for a new wardrobe, not madam malkins she sells the same old crap.

Goes back into bathroom to look into mirror and looks over his appearance with a critical eye. **(Okay definitely need new hairstyle and change in color. I'm not exactly going to frighten my enemies if I look like a flaming homosexual unless dying of laughter counts but it has to look good and sexy for my fans too after all)**. I put on my robes then contemplate my hair care and cosmetics. The cosmetics I can do it's mostly face cleaning products anyway but I'm not putting curls in my hair so I'm going to comb my hair straight then part it so the bangs frame my face. Don't have to worry about body hair gilderoy used a root removing spell to remove the hair roots all over his body except his head hair.

**"Well that should be it, simplicity at it's finest" **I said giving a million galleon smile into the mirror. He heads to the door that leads to the outside halls.

**(Hogwarts\Halls leading to the great hall)**

Moving through the castle was quite the experience Moving Staircases, animated portraits, and ghost's. While looking at the sights Professor McGonagall came up to me **"Is there wrong with your room Mr. Lockhart?" **McGonagall asked.

**"No Professor just going down to breakfast and reliving my old school days would you like to accompany me?"** I asked her holding arm out like the gentleman I am. She looks like she considering it and she smiles then her arm through mine.

**"Listen professor I know wasn't the best student when attending here often hard headed and lazy when it comes work so I had to learn the hard way when I was out in the world. Learning new experiences, seeing new places, and the difficulties that came with them. So I just wanted to thank you for putting up with me, trying your best to educate me and being my head of house."** I said that actually surprised me when I saw the memories I thought he was a Ravenclaw but here he was a Gryffindor. She actually looked at me stunned I don't think she was expecting me say something like that.

**"Your welcome Gilderoy it always the professor's and head of house's duty to teach the students regardless of who they are. I must say I wasn't expecting you to say something like that but I suppose the hardships of the world can teach us many things for what's it worth I think you turned out fine."** She said with warm smile on her face.

**"Thank you professor" **I said as we walked into the great hall.

**(Hogwarts\Great Hall\Head Table)**

I'm sitting at the head table in guest seat angry but not scared I guess when you realize that everyone eventually dies at some time so you might as well enjoy your life while you still have it. I am having a warm conversation with sprout and McGonagall about the daily life at Hogwarts. The reason I am angry is the leach that is a dark lord is sitting right next me but I can't doing anything besides that I am searching for the golden trio and there they are. Ron is surprisingly a little chubby though I'm not surprised with how much molly feeds him, Hermione has beaver teeth with puffed up hair, and Harry he is way to small for a boy his age then on top of that he looks way to skinny. This couldn't be a universe where the dursley's are guilty of child abuse are they.

**(Hogwarts\Floo)**

After grabbing my belonging's I am prepared to leave I will be back 2 weeks before school end to see if I got the job. When he first stepped through that floo it wasn't all he entered it was a great new adventure.

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**"Gilderoy was needed in the House of Lion because of it's reputation of Bravery and Loyalty"**


End file.
